Did you know that people (maybe you?) unknowingly put themselves on the bargain rack? They may charge ridiculously low fees or give so much of their resources and time to others that they end up feeling resentful.
Has it ever happened to you?
We often have a difficult time appreciating our own value, contributions and potential and so we hang ourselves out on the bargain rack. It looks like this:
On the surface these acts look like caring for others, but when people (and it’s usually women) consistently let their own needs — financial, family and health — tumble to the bottom of the barrel, they set themselves up for some major issues later in life stemming from regret, resentment, and bitterness.
Consider what Suze Orman has to say:
“You need to take yourself off the sale rack. Once you learn to respect your right to be fully valued, you will find it easy and natural to ask the world around you to respect that value. You set your price and the world will meet it. When you walk through the world feeling you are ‘more than’ rather than ‘less than’ more will come to you. Confidence is contagious; it will bring more into your life.”
In order to take yourself off the bargain rack, you have to consider what you are giving to life, in terms of value, time, resources and what life is giving back to you in terms of happiness, money, joy and appreciation.
Now I realize some people will be saying that they cannot take themselves off the bargain rack because others cannot function without them. I know that in certain care-giving situations it is necessary to place the needs of others first. I also know that as a caregiver you need regular breaks where you can have time and space to attend to your own unique and individual needs. This is the care you give to yourself.
I find Orman’s words particularly powerful when she says:
“There is a huge disconnect between what we know and how we act; what we think and what we say; how we present ourselves to the world and how we really feel about ourselves inside; what we deserve in our lives and what we resign ourselves to and the power we have within reach and the powerlessness that rules our actions.”
As women we are doers, usually for other people. We are moms, wives, daughters, partners, aunties, supportive friends, cooperative colleagues (usually), cheerleaders, caregivers and voracious volunteers! We are amazing people. But where, in all of this, are the dreams, goals and passions of each mom, wife, daughter or auntie?
My Christmas wish for you this holiday season is to . . .
Here’s 3 suggestions on how to do that:
May this Christmas and New Year’s be relaxing, joyous and happy for you and your family!
Till next year . . .
Barb RN, MSN
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Our workshop participants found Barb’s approach to teaching at the Centre for Professional Development to be dynamic and engaging. Barb not only taught effective communication and presentation skills, but also role modelled techniques throughout the day. Participants were excited to be able to apply learning’s directly into their day to day roles
Associate Director at the Centre for Professional Development, Lawrence S. Bloomberg Faculty of Nursing, University of Toronto.
Your plenary session was a real asset and a great contribution to the success of our National IPAC Conference. From beginning to end participants were energized and actively engaged.
Gwyneth Meyers BSc, MSc, PhD
Scientific Committee Chair
“The workshop was wonderful!! Barb walked the talk by continuously demonstrating the tips and skills she was teaching! It was amazing to see it all come together. I would recommend the workshop to anyone who has to present.”
Bev Waite, Education Lead-Nursing,
Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre
I told one of the nurse educators that it was the best 3 hours I have spent in a training session as the content was clear, relevant, exactly enough to be able to incorporate into presentations, and you demonstrated each point which was great. It was watching an expert at work.
Aideen Carroll, Advanced Practice Nurse Educator
Toronto General Hospital
Your workshop was also a big hit. It was interesting to hear people talk about it as not good, but great.
CMP Manager of Governance and Events CNA
After working with Barb, our team returned to work energized, enthused and inspired to utilize tools that increase our communication, clarity and relationship with not only each other, but also with the residents and families that we serve. I would highly recommend Barb if you want to bring out the best in your team.
Dale Clements, Administrator
Barb Langlois led a wonderful one day workshop for 45 Clinical Nurse Educators in Saskatoon Health Region. She worked with us in advance to really understand our learning needs, Six months later, I see CNEs using Barb’s techniques to engage learners and I use them myself in my own presentations. I strongly recommend Barb – she is a very skilled facilitator who connects with learners in a very meaningful and effective way.
Margot Hawke RN, BSN, MCEd, Nursing Professional Practice Lead
Saskatoon Health Region
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