Did you know that people (maybe you?) unknowingly put themselves on the bargain rack? They may charge ridiculously low fees or give so much of their resources and time to others that they end up feeling resentful.
Has it ever happened to you?
We often have a difficult time appreciating our own value, contributions and potential and so we hang ourselves out on the bargain rack. It looks like this:
On the surface these acts look like caring for others, but when people (and it’s usually women) consistently let their own needs — financial, family and health — tumble to the bottom of the barrel, they set themselves up for some major issues later in life stemming from regret, resentment, and bitterness.
Consider what Suze Orman has to say:
“You need to take yourself off the sale rack. Once you learn to respect your right to be fully valued, you will find it easy and natural to ask the world around you to respect that value. You set your price and the world will meet it. When you walk through the world feeling you are ‘more than’ rather than ‘less than’ more will come to you. Confidence is contagious; it will bring more into your life.”
In order to take yourself off the bargain rack, you have to consider what you are giving to life, in terms of value, time, resources and what life is giving back to you in terms of happiness, money, joy and appreciation.
Now I realize some people will be saying that they cannot take themselves off the bargain rack because others cannot function without them. I know that in certain care-giving situations it is necessary to place the needs of others first. I also know that as a caregiver you need regular breaks where you can have time and space to attend to your own unique and individual needs. This is the care you give to yourself.
I find Orman’s words particularly powerful when she says:
“There is a huge disconnect between what we know and how we act; what we think and what we say; how we present ourselves to the world and how we really feel about ourselves inside; what we deserve in our lives and what we resign ourselves to and the power we have within reach and the powerlessness that rules our actions.”
As women we are doers, usually for other people. We are moms, wives, daughters, partners, aunties, supportive friends, cooperative colleagues (usually), cheerleaders, caregivers and voracious volunteers! We are amazing people. But where, in all of this, are the dreams, goals and passions of each mom, wife, daughter or auntie?
My Christmas wish for you this holiday season is to . . .
Here’s 3 suggestions on how to do that:
May this Christmas and New Year’s be relaxing, joyous and happy for you and your family!
Till next year . . .
Barb RN, MSN
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